What I thought I knew:
Like with the other semesters and everything else in my life, I could do it on my own time, my own way. My thought was that I had enough energy and brain power to effectively manage a social life, work life, home life and school work. It didn’t happen that way, unfortunately.
My social life isn’t something to write about, trust me. I’ve had the same 4 people (my mom and brother count right?) that I have talked to for the last few years with my new work friends sprinkled in. Not having much to begin with probably helped not losing much. There, I wrote about it.
The problem was that my social life bled too much into my work life and made it suffer. It was as if I couldn’t do things without upsetting people that lead to me thinking too much about my work life which burnt me out too fast. I liked my job, I liked the money that it gave me more, but I still liked my job nonetheless. It was easy and a change of pace to the late night, always busy, knock you on your ass world that was Toppers Pizza management. (By the way, #FuckToppers) I can elaborate more on that if people want in a different post.
Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled program.
I thought I had the answers to everything an thought that I would be able to skate by and fool the world into thinking I was this one of a kind he can build a brand, do school, work, socializing, streaming, wonderful person that I just couldn’t be. I wanted to be better than myself and that leads to my next topic.
What I learned:
This semester I learned that I took too many things for granted an I tried too hard to put other people before my self. I tried working as many hours as I could, burning myself out in the process and making my journey to the end of the semester harder to get to.
I was so obsessed with not being “that guy” (ya know, the bum that just goes to class and doesn’t have a job.) that I put most of my energy into work that it ultimately lead to me failing and dropping a class. Not just any class, the main math class that I need to graduate. Another thing is that I was doing it online which meant EXTRA time to really focus on homework and learning. I didn’t do that. Instead, I put others before myself and just thought that I would do it later but later would never come.
DON’T BE “THAT GUY” BE “YOUR OWN GUY” HE’S MUCH COOLER
I tried my best to catch up on things here and there. I caught all the way up in one instance and went past where I was. But, it was all for nothing. I ended up dropping the class after finding out that I needed to pass every assignment, every quiz, and every test with 100% that is no wrong answer on anything on things that I couldn’t redo. It wasn’t going to happen even with my best intentions. I begged and pleaded with my instructor to accept some late work but she wouldn’t oblige and I had no other option but to drop my class, a class that my funding had already paid for.
Which leads me to a whole new dilemma: What am I supposed to tell the people helping me out? I’m opting for honesty and truth because that’s the only way that I can deal with people and hope that they show some mercy. That’s all up in the air for now.
My semester finished strong earning a C, an AB and 2 A’s to go along with my withdrawal grade. There are 2 weeks until my new semester starts. I’m looking forward to proving people wrong. Along with my new found schoolwork ethic and willpower, I’m ready to show everyone that there really is a NEW ME. It will be a struggle, and I will constantly have to remind myself that I should impress myself before trying to impress others. I’m still learning to do so and maybe someday I will put it into practice. But until then, it’s going to remain a battle.
Inspire yourself first.
Inspire others thereafter.